I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
