The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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