Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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