yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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