dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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