tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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