I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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