Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
