there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
