I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize