dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
