hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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