omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
