if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
