Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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