dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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