And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
