i need an iv and a liver transplant
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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