I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
