I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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