Having a random hookup so left but love u
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
