Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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