he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
