I smell stomach acid.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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