Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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