I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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