I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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