I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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