If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
