don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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