Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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