you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize