ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i just had sex bonerless
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
