just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
