I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
