Nicole vs. Life
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
