So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
