Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
