You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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