Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
