meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
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my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
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Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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