Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
