he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
