Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Randomize
