Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
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