I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
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