Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
