I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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