Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
