we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
