So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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