Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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