How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
