Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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