Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
