i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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