i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
