the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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