Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.

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(360): View more from Washington

his personality makes his face look like an asshole.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.

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(408): View more from California

Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(281): View more from Texas

Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.

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(317): View more from Indiana

She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend

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(630): View more from Illinois

I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch

(1-902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

You were feeding it to the bartender last night

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