they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i would punch a child for taco bell
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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