Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.

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(805): Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer. http://tfl.nu/1b8s

Replies (11) Good night (938) Bad night (486)
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(561): View more from Florida

Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.

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(561): Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like. http://tfl.nu/svkw

Replies (42) Good night (2749) Bad night (911)
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(407): View more from Florida

I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."

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(407): I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me." http://tfl.nu/vao0

Replies (16) Good night (3251) Bad night (1078)
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(660): View more from Missouri

Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?

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(660): Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test? http://tfl.nu/cwr3

Replies (7) Good night (5053) Bad night (1032)
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(662): View more from Mississippi

I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics

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(662): I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics http://tfl.nu/lc06

Replies (9) Good night (1308) Bad night (3201)
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(256): View more from Alabama

she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump

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(256): she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump http://tfl.nu/on8v

Replies (12) Good night (5846) Bad night (938)
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(417): View more from Missouri

You insisted on take shots off of plates.

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(417): You insisted on take shots off of plates. http://tfl.nu/pa2s

Replies (5) Good night (1745) Bad night (764)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.

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(978): Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now. http://tfl.nu/sf6h

Replies (4) Good night (912) Bad night (3101)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay

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(412): You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay http://tfl.nu/y710

Replies (15) Good night (4139) Bad night (1921)
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(614): View more from Ohio

He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.

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(614): He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again. http://tfl.nu/pqwv

Replies (3) Good night (1418) Bad night (461)
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(319): View more from Iowa

Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here

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(319): Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here http://tfl.nu/2efd

Replies (3) Good night (447) Bad night (1001)
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(303): View more from Colorado

My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.

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(303): My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief. http://tfl.nu/edfe

Replies (3) Good night (1026) Bad night (393)
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(614): View more from Ohio

telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.

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(614): telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though. http://tfl.nu/tou6

Replies (11) Good night (1750) Bad night (481)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.

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(401): You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe. http://tfl.nu/pz97

Replies (0) Good night (552) Bad night (261)
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(301): View more from Maryland

The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.

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(301): The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces. http://tfl.nu/0f9r

Replies (0) Good night (498) Bad night (346)

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