i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
