He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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