i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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