i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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