There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
