Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
