escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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