You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
