So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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