how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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