i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize