feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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